What a beautifully written story. Thank you for sharing that. One of my favorite shows on NPR was Selected Shorts, a long time ago. My son would hear this before he even arrived as he was safely snugged in my womb. And for years we would listen at noon on Fridays. This coupled with me reading Harry Potter out loud , I believe, gave him his love of reading and story telling.
It’s been 5 long years since I’ve held him, heard his melodic voice sing or laughed uncontrollably at an inside joke between us. Heroin isn’t what killed him but he had his moment dancing with the devil. So much of your story resonated with me and the struggles of addiction. To pay homage to your friend in such an open wound kind of way is healing. His last words of being reborn is maybe most telling of his ending. Maybe he learned what he came here to learn and it was simply time to start again… another life, another lesson. Finally, You have no reason to suffer from imposter syndrome, you are truly talented.
What fascinates me is (in a way) it shouldn't work. It's all back story of a sort, though as a non-fiction essay, or memoir, that what those are. Yet, this works as a story because of a clever structure that has its own form of escalation.
It's set-up almost like a mystery, as the narrator goes deeper into the truth of who August was. It's like a Citizen Kane rosebud thing, where we are propulsed through the story by this larger (and at the same time) smaller than life character. Who really was August? It's a question that we could pose about each other. How are we really known?
When the apt. full of classic books is found it makes sense, the storytelling has led us to a revelation that makes us consider what we thought before, and rather than a jarring surprise, we go... of course. The same when we read of the letters and love he had for Elzibeta (sp?) - and another revelation of where August's pain and scars came from - both the physical ones and the mental ones.
This is a story that will stick with me. It's a gift that you've put it on this platform. It deserves to be read by many people.
Wow, that’s so lovely. I don’t often get such thorough feedback (or any, let’s be honest), and something this week made me really want to talk about all of this. Thank you Craig. I need to think about this some more.
I was blown away! To me I see how little I can know about a person even with the warm affectionate feelings and thoughts I might have towards that person. I think I’m stunned
For those not familiar with the world of addiction, I think they generally believe drug/alcohol addicts are not very smart, “losers” but most I have known have typically been like August.
Brilliantly talented at one or many things, philosophical and kind. Many artists and musicians, the person you have the most intimate conversations with even though you just met them.
The ones your kids love to hang out with at family gatherings. The one who taught you guitar and made you feel like the luckiest person in the room just basking in their aura.
They’ve generally had trauma at a young age, abused, neglected, misunderstood. And people don’t understand why that person can’t be a successful member of society.
But they’re always searching for an escape from their tormented hearts and memories. Some things just never leave you capable of finding peace.
I hope he finally has it now 💔❤️🩹❤️
Thank you for sharing, it touched me and made me have fond memories of those I have known that were gone way too soon.
I expected this to be a short piece so didn’t “settle in” to read it initially, but found myself absolutely transfixed by the storytelling. Thank you for bringing August’s story to us. His was a life far different from mine, so I found it fascinating, disturbing, heart breaking and beautiful.
I couldn’t put this down — and now I can’t stop thinking about August. Maybe he would have hung out with the Beats if he had been of that generation. Keep writing! I’ll be looking for your work.
Ellie, this was hard for me to read but I couldn’t stop. It touched me so deeply.
I am a writer too - more philosophical, spiritual thinking spilled out on paper to ease my own heart filled with pain, wonder, hope mixed with suicidal thoughts now and then. Hope that somehow I could encourage others.
August. He, like so many, was special, unique, talented. The kind of water that runs deep. Yet insanely unknown. I know that part of his life well. I know what I look like on the outside but few, maybe no one really, has a clue who I am inside.
How do you explain being born a scapegoat to parents who are a mystery still, 68 years later. To a father who was a well known, beloved teacher who became famous and was highly respected in our small community but when he came home had no ability to be a father to his own children. How do I explain the way he emotionally, verbally and in other unspeakable ways, hurt us, hurt me. And my abusive “mother” who was complicit in all that crazy sauce.
August. If we had ever looked in each other’s eyes I suspect we would have, on some level, known each other instantly. Being truly, authentically known in this world is rare. I suspect the deep hunger for THAT was at the root of some of his pain.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing this story. It may sound odd but it’s incredibly healing ❤️🩹 to my lonely heart. He is incredibly healing. August. His story helps me feel a little better known and understood. I suspect that’s part of why he was here, why he suffered, why he kept seeking and never settled. So people like me would feel we weren’t so weird and off after all. I hope there’s more someday beyond this dimension. I hope I’ll get to know him someday. 🙏 I know he’ll know me. August. Thank you for saying his “name”. I will too now.
Keep writing Ellie. You and your gift are important and needed on this broken, beautiful planet. 🙏
I’m so grateful. I’ve had a few of these comments and honestly they’re unexpected. I wrote this story for closure for our friends, because most people didn’t know what happened to him. It took digging and calling law enforcement and getting records, but in the end the answer was so simple.
Oh Ellie, you never cease to surprise me! I would never have believed that you have a past eerily similar to mine. A well written story that keeps ones interest to the very end. Too bad for August's mother, it must have been a really tough time for her. Bravo for you tracking down all the details. Well done!
Ellie, your story is incredible.. The investigation and the writing must have been extremely taxing emotionally. Your determination in giving August's life a record, a memorial and a degree of closure is admirable. Your finely woven prose leaves the reader no choice other than reading until the obvious inevitable conclusion of August's life, while hoping for an unexpected revelation of a positive outcome. August was brilliant but also rendered adrift by life's harsh realities. I'm sure his story is being repeated by countless youth around the world, who find themselves judged and abandoned in our increasingly cold harsh society.
As a father, I found the story heart wrenching. It is also a cautionary reminder to communicate with your children honestly and openly, in hopes they will confide in you. I pray that if their confusion or despair ever becomes overwhelming, they will seek comfort in my counsel.
I’m so glad you loved it! I wrote this to give family and friends closure and also solve a few mysteries (no one knew what happened to him). It was a good excuse to reconnect with old friends and catch up ❤️
What a beautifully written story. Thank you for sharing that. One of my favorite shows on NPR was Selected Shorts, a long time ago. My son would hear this before he even arrived as he was safely snugged in my womb. And for years we would listen at noon on Fridays. This coupled with me reading Harry Potter out loud , I believe, gave him his love of reading and story telling.
It’s been 5 long years since I’ve held him, heard his melodic voice sing or laughed uncontrollably at an inside joke between us. Heroin isn’t what killed him but he had his moment dancing with the devil. So much of your story resonated with me and the struggles of addiction. To pay homage to your friend in such an open wound kind of way is healing. His last words of being reborn is maybe most telling of his ending. Maybe he learned what he came here to learn and it was simply time to start again… another life, another lesson. Finally, You have no reason to suffer from imposter syndrome, you are truly talented.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much. This means a lot to me, and I hope you’re at peace❤️
😢
This is such a fine piece.
What fascinates me is (in a way) it shouldn't work. It's all back story of a sort, though as a non-fiction essay, or memoir, that what those are. Yet, this works as a story because of a clever structure that has its own form of escalation.
It's set-up almost like a mystery, as the narrator goes deeper into the truth of who August was. It's like a Citizen Kane rosebud thing, where we are propulsed through the story by this larger (and at the same time) smaller than life character. Who really was August? It's a question that we could pose about each other. How are we really known?
When the apt. full of classic books is found it makes sense, the storytelling has led us to a revelation that makes us consider what we thought before, and rather than a jarring surprise, we go... of course. The same when we read of the letters and love he had for Elzibeta (sp?) - and another revelation of where August's pain and scars came from - both the physical ones and the mental ones.
This is a story that will stick with me. It's a gift that you've put it on this platform. It deserves to be read by many people.
Wow, that’s so lovely. I don’t often get such thorough feedback (or any, let’s be honest), and something this week made me really want to talk about all of this. Thank you Craig. I need to think about this some more.
Beautiful writing
Thank you!
Ellie Leonard, I read “August”
I was blown away! To me I see how little I can know about a person even with the warm affectionate feelings and thoughts I might have towards that person. I think I’m stunned
Thank you!
For those not familiar with the world of addiction, I think they generally believe drug/alcohol addicts are not very smart, “losers” but most I have known have typically been like August.
Brilliantly talented at one or many things, philosophical and kind. Many artists and musicians, the person you have the most intimate conversations with even though you just met them.
The ones your kids love to hang out with at family gatherings. The one who taught you guitar and made you feel like the luckiest person in the room just basking in their aura.
They’ve generally had trauma at a young age, abused, neglected, misunderstood. And people don’t understand why that person can’t be a successful member of society.
But they’re always searching for an escape from their tormented hearts and memories. Some things just never leave you capable of finding peace.
I hope he finally has it now 💔❤️🩹❤️
Thank you for sharing, it touched me and made me have fond memories of those I have known that were gone way too soon.
Thank you, I really appreciate your kind comment.
Awesome 👏
Thank you❤️
Thank you for this masterpiece! He will live in my hear although i never knew him, thanks to you!
Wow thank you!
Wow thank you!
I expected this to be a short piece so didn’t “settle in” to read it initially, but found myself absolutely transfixed by the storytelling. Thank you for bringing August’s story to us. His was a life far different from mine, so I found it fascinating, disturbing, heart breaking and beautiful.
Thank you so much for taking the time, I really appreciate your review.
I couldn’t put this down — and now I can’t stop thinking about August. Maybe he would have hung out with the Beats if he had been of that generation. Keep writing! I’ll be looking for your work.
Thank you! He was a good kid ;)
A fascinating story about someone I never met. This was a pleasure to read!
Thank you, it was fun to write ;)
Ellie, this was hard for me to read but I couldn’t stop. It touched me so deeply.
I am a writer too - more philosophical, spiritual thinking spilled out on paper to ease my own heart filled with pain, wonder, hope mixed with suicidal thoughts now and then. Hope that somehow I could encourage others.
August. He, like so many, was special, unique, talented. The kind of water that runs deep. Yet insanely unknown. I know that part of his life well. I know what I look like on the outside but few, maybe no one really, has a clue who I am inside.
How do you explain being born a scapegoat to parents who are a mystery still, 68 years later. To a father who was a well known, beloved teacher who became famous and was highly respected in our small community but when he came home had no ability to be a father to his own children. How do I explain the way he emotionally, verbally and in other unspeakable ways, hurt us, hurt me. And my abusive “mother” who was complicit in all that crazy sauce.
August. If we had ever looked in each other’s eyes I suspect we would have, on some level, known each other instantly. Being truly, authentically known in this world is rare. I suspect the deep hunger for THAT was at the root of some of his pain.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing this story. It may sound odd but it’s incredibly healing ❤️🩹 to my lonely heart. He is incredibly healing. August. His story helps me feel a little better known and understood. I suspect that’s part of why he was here, why he suffered, why he kept seeking and never settled. So people like me would feel we weren’t so weird and off after all. I hope there’s more someday beyond this dimension. I hope I’ll get to know him someday. 🙏 I know he’ll know me. August. Thank you for saying his “name”. I will too now.
Keep writing Ellie. You and your gift are important and needed on this broken, beautiful planet. 🙏
I’m so grateful. I’ve had a few of these comments and honestly they’re unexpected. I wrote this story for closure for our friends, because most people didn’t know what happened to him. It took digging and calling law enforcement and getting records, but in the end the answer was so simple.
Oh Ellie, you never cease to surprise me! I would never have believed that you have a past eerily similar to mine. A well written story that keeps ones interest to the very end. Too bad for August's mother, it must have been a really tough time for her. Bravo for you tracking down all the details. Well done!
Thank you! I was a bit of a fly on the wall for all of it, but I’m glad I could take it all in.
This made me cry. Thank you.
Wow, thank you so much.
Can we just start calling him Mengele?
Ellie, your story is incredible.. The investigation and the writing must have been extremely taxing emotionally. Your determination in giving August's life a record, a memorial and a degree of closure is admirable. Your finely woven prose leaves the reader no choice other than reading until the obvious inevitable conclusion of August's life, while hoping for an unexpected revelation of a positive outcome. August was brilliant but also rendered adrift by life's harsh realities. I'm sure his story is being repeated by countless youth around the world, who find themselves judged and abandoned in our increasingly cold harsh society.
As a father, I found the story heart wrenching. It is also a cautionary reminder to communicate with your children honestly and openly, in hopes they will confide in you. I pray that if their confusion or despair ever becomes overwhelming, they will seek comfort in my counsel.
I’m so glad you loved it! I wrote this to give family and friends closure and also solve a few mysteries (no one knew what happened to him). It was a good excuse to reconnect with old friends and catch up ❤️